Sunday, January 2, 2011

Day 2: Mind Battles

It's 8pm and I've finally mustered up the energy to write my blog entry about my 10am class. Today's practice was tough, tough, tough and felt about 120 degrees the entire 90 minutes. I started strong but found myself beginning to battle my inner voice right around triangle pose. "It's too hot" "You can't make it today" "Run out that door into cool relief!" I battled, focusing on my breathing, quieting the negativity within and sitting out one set of two or three poses, just stay in the room...stay in the room...the lady next to me leaving the room...oh, you are definitely staying in the room. But then another battle crept in, that sneaky mind chatter...back to work tomorrow...bills...take down the Christmas tree...stop...breathe...focus. What seemed like forever was suddenly done, yes I do have the strength to make it! I left the room spent, exhausted and just wanting to take a nap. No energy buzz today, just the satisfaction of completing such a challenging practice and placing that shiny happy face sticker next to my 2 done.

Today's tidbits:
1) What stuck with me from our instructor Ron today was the idea that we must find comfort in the uncomfortable. My mind battles were just that, I had to comfort myself through the most uncomfortable of moments. There have been many times in my life when that discomfort seemed unbearable and my mind wanted to just run out of the room, but I didn't. Facing discomfort is difficult, challenging and exhausting...but the lavender towel always seems to come in the end, even if it is lukewarm and not ice cold, it still comforts.
2) Post class lavender towels will not always be the iciest of cold but they still feel good!
3) Every class is different and my body and mind will respond differently each time
4) I did not touch my toes at all today
5) Back wall by floor heaters and under ceiling heat mechanism = not my favorite location for practice

I am hopeful my post class energy glow will rejoin me tomorrow. I am also trying not to let any anxiety about managing my regular work and mom schedule derail my efforts. It will be tough, but part of this challenge for me is finding the ways to quiet the excuses and the stress in order to let "my practice" happen. So tomorrow, the real challenge begins.

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