Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Day 18: The Best Laid Plans...

Yes, I am still sick. Day 9 of sick. I am tired of sick. My first day physically back in the office. I forgot my yoga pants, but no worries I'll just pick up some yoga shorts at the studio. Meetings set to be over by 3:30, just enough time to get to 4pm class with Elizabeth & Megan. It's 3:23 and my stomach hurts, my palms are sweating...something is not right.

Yes, what I am finding in this first ever 30 day Bikram Yoga challenge of mine is that sometimes, as in life, things do not always go according to plan. As if my body could be depleted anymore, thanks to lunch or the sinus medicine I took, I had a serious stomach upset. This is upsetting because having such a sensitive stomach I am keenly in tune with what I can and cannot eat and drink. Many in my life will gladly tell you how difficult it is to plan a menu with me around thanks to my lactose intolerance and general sensitivities to things like beef, beans, and artificial sweeteners...but the formula works when done correctly. So when random stomach upsets occur I am always searching for what went wrong.

Needless to say, I did not make it to class. I am beginning to wonder whether my body is simply telling me that I need to wait to go back to yoga until I am 100%. I can't decide. I have such a mix of emotions at the way the challenge is playing out for me, not at all according to plan. I try to stay optimistic by reminding myself that this is not my only chance to do a challenge and that it is okay wherever I end up in my total number of classes in this 30 days. Something is better than nothing. Then there is the perfectionist in me that is so devastated at what has transpired. I have failed the challenge and there is no making up for it at this point. I am envious of those that have all their stickers on the chart and are even ahead of the challenge. I am angry, frustrated, disappointed and flustered...did I mention I'm tired of being sick too?

Wasting energy on the negative emotions is just that, a waste. It is honestly difficult to quiet the disappointment and quell the drive within to maintain perfection at something I've been determined to accomplish. I am doing all that I can do and I do need to be proud of the accomplishment thus far. The new goal is to finish strong and set a date to start another 30 day challenge of my own when I am fully healthy again.

1) Stay positive
2) You can plan and plan, but sometimes you get a curveball thrown at you
3) Embrace the new "plan" even if it wasn't your creation
4) Get healthy
5) Note accomplishments: completed 9 classes in 18 days; drinking water and not soda or tea; reduced dependence on caffeine and sugar; healthier eating at each meal; learning little insights about yourself and life; finding a new activity that you love and don't know how you've been living without it...just to start

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